How to get someone

        Before this post, I've written some general statements without any real detail. Most of my posts have also been how to keep someone. They've also never been gender-specific. These three things are about to change with this post. I will go into details with what I've learned over the years. This post isn't how to keep someone, it is about how to get someone because this can be the hardest part for some people. I will also split the tips between both genders. Ladies go first so here are some tips from a man's perspective.

1. Don't act entitled to things

    Before anybody gets mad, this isn't me saying you don't deserve things because you do. This is me saying you don't deserve things simply because you are a woman. Guys want to do stuff for you because we want to make you happy. All were asking for is a simple thank you. You didn't earn it because you are a woman. You earned it because we like the person you are and want to be with you. However, we also want to be appreciated for the things we do for you. If I'm not shown appreciation, I feel like the girl doesn't care about me. All I'm saying is appreciate the things we do and we will like you a lot more which will make us want to ask you out and be in a relationship with you.

2. Don't act better than us

       When I'm going for someone or I'm dating someone, I tend to believe that person is better than me. To the women reading this, let us guys believe that about you because we don't want you to believe it. I don't want the girl to think she's better than me because that is the quickest way to make me think the complete opposite. I want someone who is happy to have me and I want to be happy to have her. The way that works is if both are equal to each other or both people think the other one is better. If I feel like she thinks she is above me, I won't want to be with her and waste my time being mistreated.

3. Do act interested

       If you want to get a guy's attention, do something simple like a smile or a laugh at something that isn't that funny. If we think you're cute and it looks like you're interested, we will most likely go after you. However, if you don't act interested and even if we are interested, we might not try on the simple fact we figure you will reject us. We need a little confidence to ask a girl out and showing that you might like us is all it takes sometimes for us to go after you.

4. Depending on the guy, make the first move

        This doesn't work for every guy so be careful with this. I personally like when the girl makes the first move because it is an easy way to tell she is really into me if she is willing to do that. I want someone who is willing to show how much she likes me. However, not all men are like me and this is where observation is useful. If you can tell a guy is nervous about things, he will probably like the girl who can make the first move. If he is really confident, he will probably make the first move. It is the guy in the middle that you have to be careful about. Just watch how he acts and you can probably tell if he would want you to make the first move or he wants to do it the traditional way and make the first move.

Those four things are for the women who read this. This next list will be for the men and it is what I've learned from my experience.

1. Don't take too much time

         I understand why guys wait. It because you want to make sure she says yes. However, if you wait too long, some other guy will get her. Don't call her a bitch either because it is your fault for waiting and not letting her know you like her. You have to flirt with her and let her know someway that you're interested in her. Once you feel like she will say yes and I mean the moment that you feel it, ask her out on a casual date because if you wait too long, you will be stuck in friend zone.

2. Smile

     This doesn't seem that hard but most people forget it. A smile is one simple thing that can make you look like you have it together. It makes you look like you are in a positive place and you are a genuinely fun person to be around. It makes you look like the person people an have a good time with. It makes you look like a happy and fun guy and that is always a good first impression. It makes you look like the kind of guy people want to be around and all it takes is a simple smile. Just make sure it doesn't look fake.

3. Know what kind of girls will go after you

      I'm not saying this in a defeatist attitude but people make first impressions within five seconds. In those five seconds a girl will decide if she likes how you look. Depending on your physical features and the clothes you wear, some girls will simply not want you. That's ok though because there are other girls out there. I'm not saying girls in different leagues. I am saying girls with different personalities. There are some types of girls who will never go after me and that's ok because I've learned what kind of girls do. You need to find out what kind of girl that is for you. Go for someone with a similar personality or a similar style because that will help you find a better match. Just don't go for someone who is exactly like you because that will get boring quick.

4. Take care of yourself

        I hate saying this as it should be self-explanatory but you need to take care of yourself. You can be the nicest, funniest, most intelligent guy on the planet but if you don't take care of yourself, no girl will want to be with you. If you have bad breath, no girl will want to kiss you. If you look like a bum, no girl will want to be seen with you. Remember, to do anything better you have to start with making yourself better. More girls will notice you if you look your best. However, this isn't only about looks. I'm talking about your personality as well. Unless you look like a movie star, you need to have the best personality you can have. You need to show your best self. Work continually to make yourself better when it comes to both looks and personality.


Those are my tips on getting people. I know I sounded a little harsher with woman. I was because it is usually us guys who have to ask, so I was saying things to not make you lose a guy's interest since you already have it a little easier when it comes to finding someone. I'm not saying it with all things but with this field yes since some girls can simply use their looks because us men are superficial creatures who work better with visual stimulus.

If you liked the advice and want a question answered, comment below.