Before doing any kind of flirting, dating, or anything to do with relationships, you have to ask yourself a few things. What do you want? Do you want a long-term relationship or a one night stand? What type of person do you want to date? What do you need to do to make it happen? What is best for you?
If you just want a one night stand, its all about looks and first impressions. If you're a man, make it look like you have status, that you are well-groomed, and that you take good care of yourself. Personality wise, act relaxed and calm as if you belong there. It shows that you are confident and it helps the women be comfortable with you.Also, show a sense of humor as its one of the most important things to a woman. If you can make her laugh, you're in. If you're a woman, go out and show off your best features. Be flirty and show the man you're into that you want him. Make it known what you want because most men will go after you for the night if you act like this.
If you want a long-term relationship, it is going to be harder. You've got to stand out. For men, it isn't that different than what the last paragraph said. Take care of yourself and look your best. Show your best self with your personality and always try to make the girl smile. For women, it is different. You have to act more composed with your clothing choices. Make yourself look date-worthy and make yourself look like a woman that men want to get to know. With your personality, act more relaxed around men. Still flirt but make it subtle to make the man want to try for you.
With the person you want to date, that is all a matter of opinion. I can't tell you what your type is. That is something only you know but make sure you know what it is. If you're not sure what your type is, experiment and test it out. See what type makes you the happiest and go with that. I'm not saying date out of your comfort zone as those might be your best relationships or your new type. What you need to know is what isn't your type. If you date someone that is not your type at all, it is common knowledge that you will be miserable.
What you need to do to make it happen has been explained somewhat already. I threw some looks and personality traits to present. Another thing to remember is you use the same methods, you will get the same results. Use what has worked and disregard what hasn't. Certain things that work for others won't work for you and vice versa. Use what has worked. If you use all these things, you will find out what is best for you and you will simply have a better life.
If you like this advice and want some personalized advice of your own, comment and ask me a question.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
You Only Live Once
YOLO has become a phrase amongst the party crowd but they have a point. You only live once so make the most of it. Don't let fear hold you back. Don't let the chance of rejection hinder you from trying to get someone. The thought process of you only live once is perfect for helping you get through flirting and eventually asking someone out. This motto was started by partiers but can easily be applied to people who want to date and have a meaningful relationship.
It can help you before, during, and after a relationship. Before a relationship, it helps you have no fear since you want the best life you can have. If they reject you, you will think it doesn't matter and can try for someone else. During a relationship, you will do the best you can for a person because you want to make the most of your life and if they aren't happy, it isn't a good life. After the relationship, you can think you only live once and that way you won't dwell on your ex.
You only live once is a way to not be afraid. There is much worse out in the world. Why be afraid of other people and what they think of you? If they reject you, you can simply not care about it. There isn't any point to worry about someone who doesn't want you. When you're with someone, you will care about them and want to make a good relationship happen. It is your life and you only live once so why waste it with a bad relationship? After a breakup, you can walk away and stay strong. It is your life and you only live once so make the most of it.
If you like this advice and want a question answered, comment below.
It can help you before, during, and after a relationship. Before a relationship, it helps you have no fear since you want the best life you can have. If they reject you, you will think it doesn't matter and can try for someone else. During a relationship, you will do the best you can for a person because you want to make the most of your life and if they aren't happy, it isn't a good life. After the relationship, you can think you only live once and that way you won't dwell on your ex.
You only live once is a way to not be afraid. There is much worse out in the world. Why be afraid of other people and what they think of you? If they reject you, you can simply not care about it. There isn't any point to worry about someone who doesn't want you. When you're with someone, you will care about them and want to make a good relationship happen. It is your life and you only live once so why waste it with a bad relationship? After a breakup, you can walk away and stay strong. It is your life and you only live once so make the most of it.
If you like this advice and want a question answered, comment below.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Don't try too hard
I've seen it happen time and time again. Someone wants somebody, so they do whatever they can to make that other person like them. More times than not, this scares the other person off. If you're trying so hard to get them now, they are scared of what will happen if you two actually start dating. They will think you seem nice but they will also assume you are the clingy type. While some people enjoy it, most do not especially at the beginning of a relationship. If you are the kind of person who will do anything to win someone over, read this blog now.
If you are trying too hard for one person, you will not get them or anyone else. People don't want someone who tries too hard for them unless they just want attention. Be honest with yourself, do you want a relationship like that? Do you want a relationship where you do everything for them and they do nothing for you? That is probably a no unless you're a masochist. It's beneficial to them and you if you just act normal with things.
Be casual when it comes to flirting. Do things that you normally do. Show that you're someone who deserves them. Don't try so hard or it will lower their opinion of you. You want them to think high of you so they will want you too. You don't do this at all when they can see how hard you are trying for them. It makes you below them and you're putting them on a pedestal before you're even dating them. Even if they say yes, you won't get anything good out of it besides someone who thinks they settled.
This doesn't apply only to getting someone. It applies to keeping them as well. Just because you have someone doesn't mean it is ok to throw yourself on them. Don't be clingy and too affectionate. Let the relationship develop before you two show a lot of affection towards each other. Also keep it private because most people don't want to be over the top in public. Don't make it look like you're showing them off or they are arm candy. They are your partner, you two are equal, and it should stay like that.
If you like this advice or want some of your own, comment and ask a question below.
If you are trying too hard for one person, you will not get them or anyone else. People don't want someone who tries too hard for them unless they just want attention. Be honest with yourself, do you want a relationship like that? Do you want a relationship where you do everything for them and they do nothing for you? That is probably a no unless you're a masochist. It's beneficial to them and you if you just act normal with things.
Be casual when it comes to flirting. Do things that you normally do. Show that you're someone who deserves them. Don't try so hard or it will lower their opinion of you. You want them to think high of you so they will want you too. You don't do this at all when they can see how hard you are trying for them. It makes you below them and you're putting them on a pedestal before you're even dating them. Even if they say yes, you won't get anything good out of it besides someone who thinks they settled.
This doesn't apply only to getting someone. It applies to keeping them as well. Just because you have someone doesn't mean it is ok to throw yourself on them. Don't be clingy and too affectionate. Let the relationship develop before you two show a lot of affection towards each other. Also keep it private because most people don't want to be over the top in public. Don't make it look like you're showing them off or they are arm candy. They are your partner, you two are equal, and it should stay like that.
If you like this advice or want some of your own, comment and ask a question below.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
How to get someone
Before this post, I've written some general statements without any real detail. Most of my posts have also been how to keep someone. They've also never been gender-specific. These three things are about to change with this post. I will go into details with what I've learned over the years. This post isn't how to keep someone, it is about how to get someone because this can be the hardest part for some people. I will also split the tips between both genders. Ladies go first so here are some tips from a man's perspective.
1. Don't act entitled to things
Before anybody gets mad, this isn't me saying you don't deserve things because you do. This is me saying you don't deserve things simply because you are a woman. Guys want to do stuff for you because we want to make you happy. All were asking for is a simple thank you. You didn't earn it because you are a woman. You earned it because we like the person you are and want to be with you. However, we also want to be appreciated for the things we do for you. If I'm not shown appreciation, I feel like the girl doesn't care about me. All I'm saying is appreciate the things we do and we will like you a lot more which will make us want to ask you out and be in a relationship with you.
2. Don't act better than us
When I'm going for someone or I'm dating someone, I tend to believe that person is better than me. To the women reading this, let us guys believe that about you because we don't want you to believe it. I don't want the girl to think she's better than me because that is the quickest way to make me think the complete opposite. I want someone who is happy to have me and I want to be happy to have her. The way that works is if both are equal to each other or both people think the other one is better. If I feel like she thinks she is above me, I won't want to be with her and waste my time being mistreated.
3. Do act interested
If you want to get a guy's attention, do something simple like a smile or a laugh at something that isn't that funny. If we think you're cute and it looks like you're interested, we will most likely go after you. However, if you don't act interested and even if we are interested, we might not try on the simple fact we figure you will reject us. We need a little confidence to ask a girl out and showing that you might like us is all it takes sometimes for us to go after you.
4. Depending on the guy, make the first move
This doesn't work for every guy so be careful with this. I personally like when the girl makes the first move because it is an easy way to tell she is really into me if she is willing to do that. I want someone who is willing to show how much she likes me. However, not all men are like me and this is where observation is useful. If you can tell a guy is nervous about things, he will probably like the girl who can make the first move. If he is really confident, he will probably make the first move. It is the guy in the middle that you have to be careful about. Just watch how he acts and you can probably tell if he would want you to make the first move or he wants to do it the traditional way and make the first move.
Those four things are for the women who read this. This next list will be for the men and it is what I've learned from my experience.
1. Don't take too much time
I understand why guys wait. It because you want to make sure she says yes. However, if you wait too long, some other guy will get her. Don't call her a bitch either because it is your fault for waiting and not letting her know you like her. You have to flirt with her and let her know someway that you're interested in her. Once you feel like she will say yes and I mean the moment that you feel it, ask her out on a casual date because if you wait too long, you will be stuck in friend zone.
2. Smile
This doesn't seem that hard but most people forget it. A smile is one simple thing that can make you look like you have it together. It makes you look like you are in a positive place and you are a genuinely fun person to be around. It makes you look like the person people an have a good time with. It makes you look like a happy and fun guy and that is always a good first impression. It makes you look like the kind of guy people want to be around and all it takes is a simple smile. Just make sure it doesn't look fake.
3. Know what kind of girls will go after you
I'm not saying this in a defeatist attitude but people make first impressions within five seconds. In those five seconds a girl will decide if she likes how you look. Depending on your physical features and the clothes you wear, some girls will simply not want you. That's ok though because there are other girls out there. I'm not saying girls in different leagues. I am saying girls with different personalities. There are some types of girls who will never go after me and that's ok because I've learned what kind of girls do. You need to find out what kind of girl that is for you. Go for someone with a similar personality or a similar style because that will help you find a better match. Just don't go for someone who is exactly like you because that will get boring quick.
4. Take care of yourself
I hate saying this as it should be self-explanatory but you need to take care of yourself. You can be the nicest, funniest, most intelligent guy on the planet but if you don't take care of yourself, no girl will want to be with you. If you have bad breath, no girl will want to kiss you. If you look like a bum, no girl will want to be seen with you. Remember, to do anything better you have to start with making yourself better. More girls will notice you if you look your best. However, this isn't only about looks. I'm talking about your personality as well. Unless you look like a movie star, you need to have the best personality you can have. You need to show your best self. Work continually to make yourself better when it comes to both looks and personality.
Those are my tips on getting people. I know I sounded a little harsher with woman. I was because it is usually us guys who have to ask, so I was saying things to not make you lose a guy's interest since you already have it a little easier when it comes to finding someone. I'm not saying it with all things but with this field yes since some girls can simply use their looks because us men are superficial creatures who work better with visual stimulus.
If you liked the advice and want a question answered, comment below.
1. Don't act entitled to things
Before anybody gets mad, this isn't me saying you don't deserve things because you do. This is me saying you don't deserve things simply because you are a woman. Guys want to do stuff for you because we want to make you happy. All were asking for is a simple thank you. You didn't earn it because you are a woman. You earned it because we like the person you are and want to be with you. However, we also want to be appreciated for the things we do for you. If I'm not shown appreciation, I feel like the girl doesn't care about me. All I'm saying is appreciate the things we do and we will like you a lot more which will make us want to ask you out and be in a relationship with you.
2. Don't act better than us
When I'm going for someone or I'm dating someone, I tend to believe that person is better than me. To the women reading this, let us guys believe that about you because we don't want you to believe it. I don't want the girl to think she's better than me because that is the quickest way to make me think the complete opposite. I want someone who is happy to have me and I want to be happy to have her. The way that works is if both are equal to each other or both people think the other one is better. If I feel like she thinks she is above me, I won't want to be with her and waste my time being mistreated.
3. Do act interested
If you want to get a guy's attention, do something simple like a smile or a laugh at something that isn't that funny. If we think you're cute and it looks like you're interested, we will most likely go after you. However, if you don't act interested and even if we are interested, we might not try on the simple fact we figure you will reject us. We need a little confidence to ask a girl out and showing that you might like us is all it takes sometimes for us to go after you.
4. Depending on the guy, make the first move
This doesn't work for every guy so be careful with this. I personally like when the girl makes the first move because it is an easy way to tell she is really into me if she is willing to do that. I want someone who is willing to show how much she likes me. However, not all men are like me and this is where observation is useful. If you can tell a guy is nervous about things, he will probably like the girl who can make the first move. If he is really confident, he will probably make the first move. It is the guy in the middle that you have to be careful about. Just watch how he acts and you can probably tell if he would want you to make the first move or he wants to do it the traditional way and make the first move.
Those four things are for the women who read this. This next list will be for the men and it is what I've learned from my experience.
1. Don't take too much time
I understand why guys wait. It because you want to make sure she says yes. However, if you wait too long, some other guy will get her. Don't call her a bitch either because it is your fault for waiting and not letting her know you like her. You have to flirt with her and let her know someway that you're interested in her. Once you feel like she will say yes and I mean the moment that you feel it, ask her out on a casual date because if you wait too long, you will be stuck in friend zone.
2. Smile
This doesn't seem that hard but most people forget it. A smile is one simple thing that can make you look like you have it together. It makes you look like you are in a positive place and you are a genuinely fun person to be around. It makes you look like the person people an have a good time with. It makes you look like a happy and fun guy and that is always a good first impression. It makes you look like the kind of guy people want to be around and all it takes is a simple smile. Just make sure it doesn't look fake.
3. Know what kind of girls will go after you
I'm not saying this in a defeatist attitude but people make first impressions within five seconds. In those five seconds a girl will decide if she likes how you look. Depending on your physical features and the clothes you wear, some girls will simply not want you. That's ok though because there are other girls out there. I'm not saying girls in different leagues. I am saying girls with different personalities. There are some types of girls who will never go after me and that's ok because I've learned what kind of girls do. You need to find out what kind of girl that is for you. Go for someone with a similar personality or a similar style because that will help you find a better match. Just don't go for someone who is exactly like you because that will get boring quick.
4. Take care of yourself
I hate saying this as it should be self-explanatory but you need to take care of yourself. You can be the nicest, funniest, most intelligent guy on the planet but if you don't take care of yourself, no girl will want to be with you. If you have bad breath, no girl will want to kiss you. If you look like a bum, no girl will want to be seen with you. Remember, to do anything better you have to start with making yourself better. More girls will notice you if you look your best. However, this isn't only about looks. I'm talking about your personality as well. Unless you look like a movie star, you need to have the best personality you can have. You need to show your best self. Work continually to make yourself better when it comes to both looks and personality.
Those are my tips on getting people. I know I sounded a little harsher with woman. I was because it is usually us guys who have to ask, so I was saying things to not make you lose a guy's interest since you already have it a little easier when it comes to finding someone. I'm not saying it with all things but with this field yes since some girls can simply use their looks because us men are superficial creatures who work better with visual stimulus.
If you liked the advice and want a question answered, comment below.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Getting over an ex
I was looking at forums and this guy was talking about how it took him forever to get over his ex and that it still hurt to think about her. I've been like that before myself and I know plenty of other guys who are like that too. Because I know the feeling and had to teach myself how to get over it, I will give a few tips on how to get over your ex.
1. Time
Unfortunately, this is sometimes the only cure for getting over someone. Time will make it easier because you will forget how you two were as a couple. You'll forget the things that made you love them. You'll also see it isn't that bad being single. You might also realize that things were bad and they were right about the relationship needing to end. In time, you'll realize it wasn't meant to be. However, if you don't want to wait, here are some tips on how to speed up the process.
2. Hang out with friends
Being able to talk to your friends about it can relieve the pain but hanging out with them can also make you forget about the breakup. Have fun with your friends. Do things you couldn't do while in the relationship. I'm not saying do horrible things but do things you wanted to do and couldn't. Go out with your friends and talk to them about anything. The important thing here is to do things that will make you forget about them. Go to places you two didn't go. go places that don't remind you of them. Its easier to get through it with friends.
3. Make a list
Think of the things that you didn't like about your ex. Write it on a piece of paper. I'll be honest. This isn't my idea. I stole it from How I Met Your Mother but when I heard it, I thought that's a great idea and I did it since then. Thats why I'm including it here. If you ever find yourself missing your ex, look at this paper to remember why it is a good thing you two aren't together. You'll see that the thing you miss about them is nothing compared to the things you will never miss. It will help you stay strong and get over them.
4. Talk to other people
The easiest way to get over someone is by finding someone else. I'm not saying jump into another relationship right away. Start by just talking or casual flirting. It is easy to forget someone when you're thinking of someone else. If you have feelings for someone new, those feelings for your ex will go away faster. This new person might be a lot better than your ex and you'll wonder why you were ever with your ex. I'm not saying right after the breakup, date someone new but it doesn't hurt to look.
Those were a few tips on how to get over your ex. If you like the advice and want some more personalized advice, comment and ask a question below.
1. Time
Unfortunately, this is sometimes the only cure for getting over someone. Time will make it easier because you will forget how you two were as a couple. You'll forget the things that made you love them. You'll also see it isn't that bad being single. You might also realize that things were bad and they were right about the relationship needing to end. In time, you'll realize it wasn't meant to be. However, if you don't want to wait, here are some tips on how to speed up the process.
2. Hang out with friends
Being able to talk to your friends about it can relieve the pain but hanging out with them can also make you forget about the breakup. Have fun with your friends. Do things you couldn't do while in the relationship. I'm not saying do horrible things but do things you wanted to do and couldn't. Go out with your friends and talk to them about anything. The important thing here is to do things that will make you forget about them. Go to places you two didn't go. go places that don't remind you of them. Its easier to get through it with friends.
3. Make a list
Think of the things that you didn't like about your ex. Write it on a piece of paper. I'll be honest. This isn't my idea. I stole it from How I Met Your Mother but when I heard it, I thought that's a great idea and I did it since then. Thats why I'm including it here. If you ever find yourself missing your ex, look at this paper to remember why it is a good thing you two aren't together. You'll see that the thing you miss about them is nothing compared to the things you will never miss. It will help you stay strong and get over them.
4. Talk to other people
The easiest way to get over someone is by finding someone else. I'm not saying jump into another relationship right away. Start by just talking or casual flirting. It is easy to forget someone when you're thinking of someone else. If you have feelings for someone new, those feelings for your ex will go away faster. This new person might be a lot better than your ex and you'll wonder why you were ever with your ex. I'm not saying right after the breakup, date someone new but it doesn't hurt to look.
Those were a few tips on how to get over your ex. If you like the advice and want some more personalized advice, comment and ask a question below.
detailed tips #1
In my last blog, I wrote some general tips on how to make a relationship work. In this blog and others to come, I will write detailed tips on how to make it work. Today's tip is to make a good impression on the people who are close to your partner like their friends and family. I say this because if their friends or family like you, you are in.
If they like you, they will say good things about you to your partner which will make them them like you even more. On the other hand, if they don't like you, they will say negative things about you to your partner which will make them have doubts about you and your relationship. Also, those friends and family of hers are people you will have to hang out with and I don't know about you but I like to hang out with people who like me and enjoy my company.
If they don't like you, these times will always be bad experiences that make your partner doubt the relationship even more. However, if those times are good times and they see you get along with the people that are close to them, they see someone they want to be with and they see a relationship that can last. When you get along with the people that are close to them, you become closer to them. If you don't get along with them, they will do more things that exclude you because they are afraid of another bad experience with you and the other people in their lives.
This will cause the relationship to become distant. When a relationship become distant, it is close to the end. If you are someone their friends and family likes, your partner will want to include you in more things which strengthens your relationship and if your relationship gets better it will last longer. Long story short, if you want to make the relationship last, get along with their friends and family.
If you like this advice and want some personalized advice of your own, comment and ask a question below.
If they like you, they will say good things about you to your partner which will make them them like you even more. On the other hand, if they don't like you, they will say negative things about you to your partner which will make them have doubts about you and your relationship. Also, those friends and family of hers are people you will have to hang out with and I don't know about you but I like to hang out with people who like me and enjoy my company.
If they don't like you, these times will always be bad experiences that make your partner doubt the relationship even more. However, if those times are good times and they see you get along with the people that are close to them, they see someone they want to be with and they see a relationship that can last. When you get along with the people that are close to them, you become closer to them. If you don't get along with them, they will do more things that exclude you because they are afraid of another bad experience with you and the other people in their lives.
This will cause the relationship to become distant. When a relationship become distant, it is close to the end. If you are someone their friends and family likes, your partner will want to include you in more things which strengthens your relationship and if your relationship gets better it will last longer. Long story short, if you want to make the relationship last, get along with their friends and family.
If you like this advice and want some personalized advice of your own, comment and ask a question below.
Monday, April 2, 2012
How to make a relationship work
I'm writing this because I see simple mistakes happen all the time in relationships. I'm not perfect in relationships myself and for the longest time I made many mistakes. However, over time through my experiences and through observation, I see why a relationship works and why they don't. For the longest time, getting the girl was easy and keeping her was hard for me. I now see it happen with friends of mine and I feel bad when they lose the girl because of a stupid mistake that could've been avoided. So for those friends and for anyone reading this blog, here is a list of a few tips to make the relationship last.
1. Be honest with each other
Honesty is the best policy is a correct saying in this case. If you are going to do something you're worried your partner will disapprove ask them or at least, let them know. Don't hide it from them or lie about it because when they find out and they will eventually find out, they will feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. One lie depending on how big it is could ruin the relationship because your partner could lose all the trust they have in you. I understand why people hide things from each other. They think if the partner doesn't know I'm doing this then it won't hurt us and the relationship will last longer. This is backwards thinking as when they do find out, you might lose them or you could've told them in the beginning and it would help build trust. For a relationship to work, there has to be trust and for there to be trust, you have to be honest.
2. Remember to put them above yourself
If you are with someone, you have to be willing to make sacrifices to make it work. There will be certain places you won't be able to go and things you won't be able to do. You have to decide they are worth it and if they truly are, it shouldn't be hard to give those things up. Remember that you chose your partner and chose to be in this relationship. If you love them, let them know not only with words but with actions and one of these actions is showing you are willing to give up things for them.You have to let them know they are more important than your old life. If they are, this one shouldn't be hard to do.
3. Treat them how they want to be treated
Forget the golden rule. Use the platinum rule in a relationship. Instead of treating them how you want to be treated, treat them how they want to be treated. They won't have all the same likes you have so your idea of fun isn't their idea of fun. You will have to do things you don't enjoy but you can persevere because remember you are with them and they are worth it. In return, they will or at least they should do the same for you and anything you like to do is usually better with them by your side. Also, certain things you're ok with aren't things they will be ok with so don't do those things. They will want to be treated a different way than you like to be treated. The general rule is if you don't know they like to be treated yet, treat them as best as you can.
4. Communication
This is a pretty simple thing to do but a lot of couples avoid it. If certain things are bothering you, speak up and let your partner know whats wrong. Don't pretend that everything is ok because then you will bottle it up and resent your partner for something they don't know bothers you. If something bothers you, let them know in a calm and civil way before you bottle it up and emotions take control. Most of the time people do something wrong, it is because they don't know what they're doing is wrong so let them know and most likely, they will stop doing that thing and it will be fixed. Also, talk about what you enjoy so they know what to do to make you happy. The main point here is to just talk to your partner and figure out ways to make it work.
Those are four of my tips for a good relationship. There is a lot of other little things but I was putting major things in this list. If you follow these simple rules, you will have longer lasting relationships. If you liked this post and want some personal advice, comment and ask a question about anything below.
1. Be honest with each other
Honesty is the best policy is a correct saying in this case. If you are going to do something you're worried your partner will disapprove ask them or at least, let them know. Don't hide it from them or lie about it because when they find out and they will eventually find out, they will feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. One lie depending on how big it is could ruin the relationship because your partner could lose all the trust they have in you. I understand why people hide things from each other. They think if the partner doesn't know I'm doing this then it won't hurt us and the relationship will last longer. This is backwards thinking as when they do find out, you might lose them or you could've told them in the beginning and it would help build trust. For a relationship to work, there has to be trust and for there to be trust, you have to be honest.
2. Remember to put them above yourself
If you are with someone, you have to be willing to make sacrifices to make it work. There will be certain places you won't be able to go and things you won't be able to do. You have to decide they are worth it and if they truly are, it shouldn't be hard to give those things up. Remember that you chose your partner and chose to be in this relationship. If you love them, let them know not only with words but with actions and one of these actions is showing you are willing to give up things for them.You have to let them know they are more important than your old life. If they are, this one shouldn't be hard to do.
3. Treat them how they want to be treated
Forget the golden rule. Use the platinum rule in a relationship. Instead of treating them how you want to be treated, treat them how they want to be treated. They won't have all the same likes you have so your idea of fun isn't their idea of fun. You will have to do things you don't enjoy but you can persevere because remember you are with them and they are worth it. In return, they will or at least they should do the same for you and anything you like to do is usually better with them by your side. Also, certain things you're ok with aren't things they will be ok with so don't do those things. They will want to be treated a different way than you like to be treated. The general rule is if you don't know they like to be treated yet, treat them as best as you can.
4. Communication
This is a pretty simple thing to do but a lot of couples avoid it. If certain things are bothering you, speak up and let your partner know whats wrong. Don't pretend that everything is ok because then you will bottle it up and resent your partner for something they don't know bothers you. If something bothers you, let them know in a calm and civil way before you bottle it up and emotions take control. Most of the time people do something wrong, it is because they don't know what they're doing is wrong so let them know and most likely, they will stop doing that thing and it will be fixed. Also, talk about what you enjoy so they know what to do to make you happy. The main point here is to just talk to your partner and figure out ways to make it work.
Those are four of my tips for a good relationship. There is a lot of other little things but I was putting major things in this list. If you follow these simple rules, you will have longer lasting relationships. If you liked this post and want some personal advice, comment and ask a question about anything below.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
My answer to is he cheating on me?
This is a comment I got just a while ago:
I don't really know how to start this, but I just want to get an honest opinion that won't be sugar-coated. I want to know if my boyfriend might be cheating on me. A while ago, I had checked his phone and there were some odd text messages from him to his second cousin. They said: "Can anyone see your phone?" "Ok good. Would you like to mess around on Sunday?" "How long have you been on it? Would you like to do it again?" It seems like he might be cheating on me with her. Unfortunately this is the only piece of evidence I have.
Am I overreacting, or is this something I should worry about? I've already asked him about it, but his story doesn't make much sense. He did admit to asking her how long she had been on her menstrual cycle. I don't know why he'd need to know that. In addition, I asked his cousin and her story didn't match his. I don't want this to be true, but if it is, I don't want to stay with him. Please just tell me what you think. Thank you
To be honest, it sounds like he is and that he is trying to hide it. I would say talk to him and see what he says if it wasn't for the text "Would you like to do it again?" The cousin's story is probably the correct one and your boyfriend is probably covering it up. If they are similar but with some differences, the cousin is probably failing at covering up for him. It might not be the cousin he is cheating on you with or at least I hope its not.
What I think happened is he cheated on you with a different girl. He is covering it up by having the contact be his second cousin's name instead. He asked his cousin to help cover for him but they both have different stories sine it is probably a lie. You're not overreacting and this is something you should worry about. He might be cheating. It definitely sounds like it is. His whole story seems off. I think you should ask until you can be sure he isn't lying or when he finally tells the truth. Unfortunately, it sounds like he is and if he is, you need to do whats best for you.
If you like this advice and need some of your own or have any questions, comment below.
I don't really know how to start this, but I just want to get an honest opinion that won't be sugar-coated. I want to know if my boyfriend might be cheating on me. A while ago, I had checked his phone and there were some odd text messages from him to his second cousin. They said: "Can anyone see your phone?" "Ok good. Would you like to mess around on Sunday?" "How long have you been on it? Would you like to do it again?" It seems like he might be cheating on me with her. Unfortunately this is the only piece of evidence I have.
Am I overreacting, or is this something I should worry about? I've already asked him about it, but his story doesn't make much sense. He did admit to asking her how long she had been on her menstrual cycle. I don't know why he'd need to know that. In addition, I asked his cousin and her story didn't match his. I don't want this to be true, but if it is, I don't want to stay with him. Please just tell me what you think. Thank you
To be honest, it sounds like he is and that he is trying to hide it. I would say talk to him and see what he says if it wasn't for the text "Would you like to do it again?" The cousin's story is probably the correct one and your boyfriend is probably covering it up. If they are similar but with some differences, the cousin is probably failing at covering up for him. It might not be the cousin he is cheating on you with or at least I hope its not.
What I think happened is he cheated on you with a different girl. He is covering it up by having the contact be his second cousin's name instead. He asked his cousin to help cover for him but they both have different stories sine it is probably a lie. You're not overreacting and this is something you should worry about. He might be cheating. It definitely sounds like it is. His whole story seems off. I think you should ask until you can be sure he isn't lying or when he finally tells the truth. Unfortunately, it sounds like he is and if he is, you need to do whats best for you.
If you like this advice and need some of your own or have any questions, comment below.
First real post under new blog title
I noticed that my links are now broken because of me changing the name of my blog so I will post another blog under the new name. I haven't gotten any new comments or questions so I will base this one on what I see going on around me. I see couples all around me and I see three different types of couples. The first kind of couple I see is the over the top couple. We all know this couple. This is the couple where both people in the relationship show so much emotion towards each other that it makes the others around them roll their eyes in contempt. I'm writing about this couple first because they are the most prevalent and they are the couple that people see the most because they make the fact that they are a couple known the most. I also write about this couple first because for most, this is the first step in the relationship : The Honeymoon Phase.
Every relationship has this phase. It is the phase where each partner loves everything about the other person and sees nothing wrong in their relationship at all. There will eventually be a stop to this either because of an argument or it simply faded out. The ones who continue on past this honeymoon phase are the second couple I see. This is the more toned down couple. These are the ones who don't have to announce it to the world because most people already know. This is the couple that is still happy together but they have matured into a better relationship and have gotten strong through the arguments. These couples are in the second phase and some couples will grow more and more until they get to the hopefully final phase which is marriage.
The couples who don't go to that are usually the third couple I see. This is the hybrid couple where one is more mature about the relationship and the other is clingy. Usually this is at the end of a relationship because one person is trying to desperately cling to the other and make it work which unfortunately usually causes the other person to leave them. That mature person wants it to work but they want to be mature about it and not revert and go back to how they used to be in the beginning. Unfortunately, these two will clash and the mature person's pity will eventually run out and the relationship will end.
My advice out of this is try to connect with your partner. you two are a team and hopefully love will bind you two together. If they want to be that person who loves p.d.a. go with it if you are willing to. If you are not, let them know. If they don't want that, don't try to force it on them or you will eventually lose them. Be the first or second couple. Don't ever be the hybrid couple.
If you want advice from me, Comment below.
Every relationship has this phase. It is the phase where each partner loves everything about the other person and sees nothing wrong in their relationship at all. There will eventually be a stop to this either because of an argument or it simply faded out. The ones who continue on past this honeymoon phase are the second couple I see. This is the more toned down couple. These are the ones who don't have to announce it to the world because most people already know. This is the couple that is still happy together but they have matured into a better relationship and have gotten strong through the arguments. These couples are in the second phase and some couples will grow more and more until they get to the hopefully final phase which is marriage.
The couples who don't go to that are usually the third couple I see. This is the hybrid couple where one is more mature about the relationship and the other is clingy. Usually this is at the end of a relationship because one person is trying to desperately cling to the other and make it work which unfortunately usually causes the other person to leave them. That mature person wants it to work but they want to be mature about it and not revert and go back to how they used to be in the beginning. Unfortunately, these two will clash and the mature person's pity will eventually run out and the relationship will end.
My advice out of this is try to connect with your partner. you two are a team and hopefully love will bind you two together. If they want to be that person who loves p.d.a. go with it if you are willing to. If you are not, let them know. If they don't want that, don't try to force it on them or you will eventually lose them. Be the first or second couple. Don't ever be the hybrid couple.
If you want advice from me, Comment below.
Friday, March 30, 2012
New Title of Blog
For the people reading this, I changed the name of my blog from Robbie's Opinions to Robbie's Relationship Ramblings. This change has happened because of the questions I've received and what my posts have turned into. I will still answer any questions I receive but if I don't receive any questions, my blogs will probably be about relationships and advice when it comes to them. I will still answer any questions even if they are not about relationships because I want to be the kind of blogger people come to for help and I want them to have a positive experience because of me.
Another reason I change my blog is so it can become specialized instead of being about anything and everything. I will still answer everything because this is meant to be a fan-friendly blog and it will continue to be exactly that. In short, I changed the blog name because of what my recent posts have been based on and so I can be more of a specialist when it comes to certain advice.
Still feel free to comment and ask anything below.
Another reason I change my blog is so it can become specialized instead of being about anything and everything. I will still answer everything because this is meant to be a fan-friendly blog and it will continue to be exactly that. In short, I changed the blog name because of what my recent posts have been based on and so I can be more of a specialist when it comes to certain advice.
Still feel free to comment and ask anything below.
Nice guys finish last or do they?
I havn't got any comments since my last post so I will answer a question I hear all the time: Why don't girls ever date the nice guys or more commonly, why do girls always go after the douchebags? The girls don't go after them because they are douchebags or disregard you because you're nice. That isn't what they are responding to. They are responding to whether or not a man has confidence.
Unfortunately, 9 times out of 10, it is the douchebag that looks like he has confidence. The traits that make him look like the wrong person to you like the cocky demeanor and the arrogant personality are also the traits that are drawing the girls in. This is why the nice guy loses because compared to the douchebag, it looks like he has no confidence. You can be the nicest guy in the world but if you don't have any confidence, you will never get any girls.
There is some good news though, the girls do say they want a nice guy most of the time. You're thinking they say it, but they don't mean it. They do mean it. It's just they want a nice guy not a doormat. Don't be the guy asking what's wrong all the time. If you can tell something is genuinely wrong, that is the time to ask. Don't do what you think will work. It hasn't gotten very far in the past. Respond to what she does by acting like yourself not what you think she wants you to act like. If you act like yourself and show confidence in yourself, the girls will respond to you. You don't have to be a douchebag to get someone.
All you have to do is be yourself. When I say be yourself, I don't mean keep doing what you're doing because that is bound to fail. I mean be your best self. If you show the person you truly are in the best way you can, you will have a better chance. What this blog is basically saying is the main thing that attracts women is confidence. If you have no confidence, your odds will drastically drop. But if you show that you have confidence, you will have a better chance with women.
If you like this advice and want a question of your own answered, comment below.
Unfortunately, 9 times out of 10, it is the douchebag that looks like he has confidence. The traits that make him look like the wrong person to you like the cocky demeanor and the arrogant personality are also the traits that are drawing the girls in. This is why the nice guy loses because compared to the douchebag, it looks like he has no confidence. You can be the nicest guy in the world but if you don't have any confidence, you will never get any girls.
There is some good news though, the girls do say they want a nice guy most of the time. You're thinking they say it, but they don't mean it. They do mean it. It's just they want a nice guy not a doormat. Don't be the guy asking what's wrong all the time. If you can tell something is genuinely wrong, that is the time to ask. Don't do what you think will work. It hasn't gotten very far in the past. Respond to what she does by acting like yourself not what you think she wants you to act like. If you act like yourself and show confidence in yourself, the girls will respond to you. You don't have to be a douchebag to get someone.
All you have to do is be yourself. When I say be yourself, I don't mean keep doing what you're doing because that is bound to fail. I mean be your best self. If you show the person you truly are in the best way you can, you will have a better chance. What this blog is basically saying is the main thing that attracts women is confidence. If you have no confidence, your odds will drastically drop. But if you show that you have confidence, you will have a better chance with women.
If you like this advice and want a question of your own answered, comment below.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
First Anonymous Question
This is what I just got as a comment on my last post:
Ok, so here is the deal, tell me what you honestly think I should do. I am putting your advice giving skills to the test. So throughout all high school I was obsessivly in love with a friend of mine, I went over and spent time with her, and been a friend, but I would always do something stupid like push myself on her more or whatever. I went to the point of where I actually wrote a letter to her admitting how I felt about her and everything at the time.
Well after a while I decided that it would be the best for both me and her, if I just started dating other people and everything. Well now we are in college, we became pretty good friends, and now that I am single again for a while, those feelings have started coming back and I am scared and not sure what to do. I want to be her friend and her not to think bad of me because of this, but yet I know that my feelings will never change and so I don't know what I should do.
This is the first true advice I'm giving on this blog and I will do my best so here it goes. You asked me to be honest so I will tell you that it looks like you got friend-zoned (at least in high school). What you can do now is one of two things. 1. Admit to yourself that it might be better to just stay friends especially if she wasn't sending back any feelings back in high school. or 2. You try to see how she acts towards you now. She might have forgotten that you pushed yourself on her back in high school. If she did, never bring it up again even as a joke. You might lose any chance at her. If she acts like she likes you now, go for it but ask her to go on a casual date not some big ordeal and definitely don't tell her you've been obsessively in love with her. if she says yes to the casual date, act normal. Subtlety is the key in this situation. You can't go over the top with your emotions on a first date.
If the first date is good, ask her on another one and see where it goes. If she doesn't act like she likes you or she says no, just remain friends with her and stop trying with this one girl. Try to move on and look for someone else. If you are hung up on this girl, you won't be able to find anyone else so if you know there isn't any chance with her, you might as well forget any romantic things with her. If you move on and find someone else, those feelings will change about her and you'll see that it wasn't worth getting worked over. Long story short, see if she likes you by the way she acts. If she seems like she does, ask her out on a casual date. If not or if she says no, try to find someone else simple as that.
If you liked this answer or want some other kind of advice, write a comment below and ask anything.
Ok, so here is the deal, tell me what you honestly think I should do. I am putting your advice giving skills to the test. So throughout all high school I was obsessivly in love with a friend of mine, I went over and spent time with her, and been a friend, but I would always do something stupid like push myself on her more or whatever. I went to the point of where I actually wrote a letter to her admitting how I felt about her and everything at the time.
Well after a while I decided that it would be the best for both me and her, if I just started dating other people and everything. Well now we are in college, we became pretty good friends, and now that I am single again for a while, those feelings have started coming back and I am scared and not sure what to do. I want to be her friend and her not to think bad of me because of this, but yet I know that my feelings will never change and so I don't know what I should do.
This is the first true advice I'm giving on this blog and I will do my best so here it goes. You asked me to be honest so I will tell you that it looks like you got friend-zoned (at least in high school). What you can do now is one of two things. 1. Admit to yourself that it might be better to just stay friends especially if she wasn't sending back any feelings back in high school. or 2. You try to see how she acts towards you now. She might have forgotten that you pushed yourself on her back in high school. If she did, never bring it up again even as a joke. You might lose any chance at her. If she acts like she likes you now, go for it but ask her to go on a casual date not some big ordeal and definitely don't tell her you've been obsessively in love with her. if she says yes to the casual date, act normal. Subtlety is the key in this situation. You can't go over the top with your emotions on a first date.
If the first date is good, ask her on another one and see where it goes. If she doesn't act like she likes you or she says no, just remain friends with her and stop trying with this one girl. Try to move on and look for someone else. If you are hung up on this girl, you won't be able to find anyone else so if you know there isn't any chance with her, you might as well forget any romantic things with her. If you move on and find someone else, those feelings will change about her and you'll see that it wasn't worth getting worked over. Long story short, see if she likes you by the way she acts. If she seems like she does, ask her out on a casual date. If not or if she says no, try to find someone else simple as that.
If you liked this answer or want some other kind of advice, write a comment below and ask anything.
What is love?
My friend Kyle just posted this question and as tempted as I was to write "Baby, don't hurt me" I will write seriously about it. It is hard to describe love as it is different for everyone. It is one of those things where if you have experienced it, you understand it completely but if you've never experienced it, you will never understand. I will try to explain my best though. For me, love is when you let your heart make the decisions and you aren't upset by it.
You actually enjoy it because it is one of the best experiences you will ever feel. Love is when you would give up everything for that one person because you can't give them up and nothing else compares to them. Love can make you feel the best you ever have and also the worst. It can be a cruel temptress but it can also be your best friend. It is the one thing religious and non-religious people can agree on. In the bible, it says it is the most important thing in the world but non-religious people can think that as well.
Love is something that binds but its not a bad thing, you choose to let it happen. Some people are afraid of love but it isn't anything to fear once you feel it. Because once you feel it, you now know why it is out there and why people try so hard for it. You will try your hardest for love because that one person is the one thing that is always worth your best effort.
That effort isn't attainable without love because love changes you for the better and even if you lose love, you still know it was good for you because of how you felt when you were in love.It isn't easy to understand because everyone is different and everyone's emotions are different but that is what I think love is. If someone likes this advice and wants a question answered, just comment below.
You actually enjoy it because it is one of the best experiences you will ever feel. Love is when you would give up everything for that one person because you can't give them up and nothing else compares to them. Love can make you feel the best you ever have and also the worst. It can be a cruel temptress but it can also be your best friend. It is the one thing religious and non-religious people can agree on. In the bible, it says it is the most important thing in the world but non-religious people can think that as well.
Love is something that binds but its not a bad thing, you choose to let it happen. Some people are afraid of love but it isn't anything to fear once you feel it. Because once you feel it, you now know why it is out there and why people try so hard for it. You will try your hardest for love because that one person is the one thing that is always worth your best effort.
That effort isn't attainable without love because love changes you for the better and even if you lose love, you still know it was good for you because of how you felt when you were in love.It isn't easy to understand because everyone is different and everyone's emotions are different but that is what I think love is. If someone likes this advice and wants a question answered, just comment below.
First Post
This is my first blog post here on Blogger, so I will make it short and sweet. We don't want to bore anyone with a first post and I really want people to like my blog. This blog is to help people by giving them advice. I will answer questions I receive in the comments of my posts.
I will answer any question within reason and say what I believe and how I feel. I know I can't really show how good I am at advice without any questions and this is why the first post is so short. The second post will be longer as I will answer the first question I receive.
I will answer any question within reason and say what I believe and how I feel. I know I can't really show how good I am at advice without any questions and this is why the first post is so short. The second post will be longer as I will answer the first question I receive.
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