In my last blog, I wrote some general tips on how to make a relationship work. In this blog and others to come, I will write detailed tips on how to make it work. Today's tip is to make a good impression on the people who are close to your partner like their friends and family. I say this because if their friends or family like you, you are in.
If they like you, they will say good things about you to your partner which will make them them like you even more. On the other hand, if they don't like you, they will say negative things about you to your partner which will make them have doubts about you and your relationship. Also, those friends and family of hers are people you will have to hang out with and I don't know about you but I like to hang out with people who like me and enjoy my company.
If they don't like you, these times will always be bad experiences that make your partner doubt the relationship even more. However, if those times are good times and they see you get along with the people that are close to them, they see someone they want to be with and they see a relationship that can last. When you get along with the people that are close to them, you become closer to them. If you don't get along with them, they will do more things that exclude you because they are afraid of another bad experience with you and the other people in their lives.
This will cause the relationship to become distant. When a relationship become distant, it is close to the end. If you are someone their friends and family likes, your partner will want to include you in more things which strengthens your relationship and if your relationship gets better it will last longer. Long story short, if you want to make the relationship last, get along with their friends and family.
If you like this advice and want some personalized advice of your own, comment and ask a question below.
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
How to make a relationship work
I'm writing this because I see simple mistakes happen all the time in relationships. I'm not perfect in relationships myself and for the longest time I made many mistakes. However, over time through my experiences and through observation, I see why a relationship works and why they don't. For the longest time, getting the girl was easy and keeping her was hard for me. I now see it happen with friends of mine and I feel bad when they lose the girl because of a stupid mistake that could've been avoided. So for those friends and for anyone reading this blog, here is a list of a few tips to make the relationship last.
1. Be honest with each other
Honesty is the best policy is a correct saying in this case. If you are going to do something you're worried your partner will disapprove ask them or at least, let them know. Don't hide it from them or lie about it because when they find out and they will eventually find out, they will feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. One lie depending on how big it is could ruin the relationship because your partner could lose all the trust they have in you. I understand why people hide things from each other. They think if the partner doesn't know I'm doing this then it won't hurt us and the relationship will last longer. This is backwards thinking as when they do find out, you might lose them or you could've told them in the beginning and it would help build trust. For a relationship to work, there has to be trust and for there to be trust, you have to be honest.
2. Remember to put them above yourself
If you are with someone, you have to be willing to make sacrifices to make it work. There will be certain places you won't be able to go and things you won't be able to do. You have to decide they are worth it and if they truly are, it shouldn't be hard to give those things up. Remember that you chose your partner and chose to be in this relationship. If you love them, let them know not only with words but with actions and one of these actions is showing you are willing to give up things for them.You have to let them know they are more important than your old life. If they are, this one shouldn't be hard to do.
3. Treat them how they want to be treated
Forget the golden rule. Use the platinum rule in a relationship. Instead of treating them how you want to be treated, treat them how they want to be treated. They won't have all the same likes you have so your idea of fun isn't their idea of fun. You will have to do things you don't enjoy but you can persevere because remember you are with them and they are worth it. In return, they will or at least they should do the same for you and anything you like to do is usually better with them by your side. Also, certain things you're ok with aren't things they will be ok with so don't do those things. They will want to be treated a different way than you like to be treated. The general rule is if you don't know they like to be treated yet, treat them as best as you can.
4. Communication
This is a pretty simple thing to do but a lot of couples avoid it. If certain things are bothering you, speak up and let your partner know whats wrong. Don't pretend that everything is ok because then you will bottle it up and resent your partner for something they don't know bothers you. If something bothers you, let them know in a calm and civil way before you bottle it up and emotions take control. Most of the time people do something wrong, it is because they don't know what they're doing is wrong so let them know and most likely, they will stop doing that thing and it will be fixed. Also, talk about what you enjoy so they know what to do to make you happy. The main point here is to just talk to your partner and figure out ways to make it work.
Those are four of my tips for a good relationship. There is a lot of other little things but I was putting major things in this list. If you follow these simple rules, you will have longer lasting relationships. If you liked this post and want some personal advice, comment and ask a question about anything below.
1. Be honest with each other
Honesty is the best policy is a correct saying in this case. If you are going to do something you're worried your partner will disapprove ask them or at least, let them know. Don't hide it from them or lie about it because when they find out and they will eventually find out, they will feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. One lie depending on how big it is could ruin the relationship because your partner could lose all the trust they have in you. I understand why people hide things from each other. They think if the partner doesn't know I'm doing this then it won't hurt us and the relationship will last longer. This is backwards thinking as when they do find out, you might lose them or you could've told them in the beginning and it would help build trust. For a relationship to work, there has to be trust and for there to be trust, you have to be honest.
2. Remember to put them above yourself
If you are with someone, you have to be willing to make sacrifices to make it work. There will be certain places you won't be able to go and things you won't be able to do. You have to decide they are worth it and if they truly are, it shouldn't be hard to give those things up. Remember that you chose your partner and chose to be in this relationship. If you love them, let them know not only with words but with actions and one of these actions is showing you are willing to give up things for them.You have to let them know they are more important than your old life. If they are, this one shouldn't be hard to do.
3. Treat them how they want to be treated
Forget the golden rule. Use the platinum rule in a relationship. Instead of treating them how you want to be treated, treat them how they want to be treated. They won't have all the same likes you have so your idea of fun isn't their idea of fun. You will have to do things you don't enjoy but you can persevere because remember you are with them and they are worth it. In return, they will or at least they should do the same for you and anything you like to do is usually better with them by your side. Also, certain things you're ok with aren't things they will be ok with so don't do those things. They will want to be treated a different way than you like to be treated. The general rule is if you don't know they like to be treated yet, treat them as best as you can.
4. Communication
This is a pretty simple thing to do but a lot of couples avoid it. If certain things are bothering you, speak up and let your partner know whats wrong. Don't pretend that everything is ok because then you will bottle it up and resent your partner for something they don't know bothers you. If something bothers you, let them know in a calm and civil way before you bottle it up and emotions take control. Most of the time people do something wrong, it is because they don't know what they're doing is wrong so let them know and most likely, they will stop doing that thing and it will be fixed. Also, talk about what you enjoy so they know what to do to make you happy. The main point here is to just talk to your partner and figure out ways to make it work.
Those are four of my tips for a good relationship. There is a lot of other little things but I was putting major things in this list. If you follow these simple rules, you will have longer lasting relationships. If you liked this post and want some personal advice, comment and ask a question about anything below.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
First real post under new blog title
I noticed that my links are now broken because of me changing the name of my blog so I will post another blog under the new name. I haven't gotten any new comments or questions so I will base this one on what I see going on around me. I see couples all around me and I see three different types of couples. The first kind of couple I see is the over the top couple. We all know this couple. This is the couple where both people in the relationship show so much emotion towards each other that it makes the others around them roll their eyes in contempt. I'm writing about this couple first because they are the most prevalent and they are the couple that people see the most because they make the fact that they are a couple known the most. I also write about this couple first because for most, this is the first step in the relationship : The Honeymoon Phase.
Every relationship has this phase. It is the phase where each partner loves everything about the other person and sees nothing wrong in their relationship at all. There will eventually be a stop to this either because of an argument or it simply faded out. The ones who continue on past this honeymoon phase are the second couple I see. This is the more toned down couple. These are the ones who don't have to announce it to the world because most people already know. This is the couple that is still happy together but they have matured into a better relationship and have gotten strong through the arguments. These couples are in the second phase and some couples will grow more and more until they get to the hopefully final phase which is marriage.
The couples who don't go to that are usually the third couple I see. This is the hybrid couple where one is more mature about the relationship and the other is clingy. Usually this is at the end of a relationship because one person is trying to desperately cling to the other and make it work which unfortunately usually causes the other person to leave them. That mature person wants it to work but they want to be mature about it and not revert and go back to how they used to be in the beginning. Unfortunately, these two will clash and the mature person's pity will eventually run out and the relationship will end.
My advice out of this is try to connect with your partner. you two are a team and hopefully love will bind you two together. If they want to be that person who loves p.d.a. go with it if you are willing to. If you are not, let them know. If they don't want that, don't try to force it on them or you will eventually lose them. Be the first or second couple. Don't ever be the hybrid couple.
If you want advice from me, Comment below.
Every relationship has this phase. It is the phase where each partner loves everything about the other person and sees nothing wrong in their relationship at all. There will eventually be a stop to this either because of an argument or it simply faded out. The ones who continue on past this honeymoon phase are the second couple I see. This is the more toned down couple. These are the ones who don't have to announce it to the world because most people already know. This is the couple that is still happy together but they have matured into a better relationship and have gotten strong through the arguments. These couples are in the second phase and some couples will grow more and more until they get to the hopefully final phase which is marriage.
The couples who don't go to that are usually the third couple I see. This is the hybrid couple where one is more mature about the relationship and the other is clingy. Usually this is at the end of a relationship because one person is trying to desperately cling to the other and make it work which unfortunately usually causes the other person to leave them. That mature person wants it to work but they want to be mature about it and not revert and go back to how they used to be in the beginning. Unfortunately, these two will clash and the mature person's pity will eventually run out and the relationship will end.
My advice out of this is try to connect with your partner. you two are a team and hopefully love will bind you two together. If they want to be that person who loves p.d.a. go with it if you are willing to. If you are not, let them know. If they don't want that, don't try to force it on them or you will eventually lose them. Be the first or second couple. Don't ever be the hybrid couple.
If you want advice from me, Comment below.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
What is love?
My friend Kyle just posted this question and as tempted as I was to write "Baby, don't hurt me" I will write seriously about it. It is hard to describe love as it is different for everyone. It is one of those things where if you have experienced it, you understand it completely but if you've never experienced it, you will never understand. I will try to explain my best though. For me, love is when you let your heart make the decisions and you aren't upset by it.
You actually enjoy it because it is one of the best experiences you will ever feel. Love is when you would give up everything for that one person because you can't give them up and nothing else compares to them. Love can make you feel the best you ever have and also the worst. It can be a cruel temptress but it can also be your best friend. It is the one thing religious and non-religious people can agree on. In the bible, it says it is the most important thing in the world but non-religious people can think that as well.
Love is something that binds but its not a bad thing, you choose to let it happen. Some people are afraid of love but it isn't anything to fear once you feel it. Because once you feel it, you now know why it is out there and why people try so hard for it. You will try your hardest for love because that one person is the one thing that is always worth your best effort.
That effort isn't attainable without love because love changes you for the better and even if you lose love, you still know it was good for you because of how you felt when you were in love.It isn't easy to understand because everyone is different and everyone's emotions are different but that is what I think love is. If someone likes this advice and wants a question answered, just comment below.
You actually enjoy it because it is one of the best experiences you will ever feel. Love is when you would give up everything for that one person because you can't give them up and nothing else compares to them. Love can make you feel the best you ever have and also the worst. It can be a cruel temptress but it can also be your best friend. It is the one thing religious and non-religious people can agree on. In the bible, it says it is the most important thing in the world but non-religious people can think that as well.
Love is something that binds but its not a bad thing, you choose to let it happen. Some people are afraid of love but it isn't anything to fear once you feel it. Because once you feel it, you now know why it is out there and why people try so hard for it. You will try your hardest for love because that one person is the one thing that is always worth your best effort.
That effort isn't attainable without love because love changes you for the better and even if you lose love, you still know it was good for you because of how you felt when you were in love.It isn't easy to understand because everyone is different and everyone's emotions are different but that is what I think love is. If someone likes this advice and wants a question answered, just comment below.
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